Tonight I noticed the young man at the cash register at the drug store said to a (female) customer, "Be careful, there's lots of wolves out there tonight," by way of thank-you-and-goodbye. Another spin around the store and I heard him say it again, to someone else. By the third time it became clear that this was no spontaneous improvisation but a failure of imagination (his coworkers, by the way, all had deafened, deadened expressions, and didn't bat an eye). By some miracle of logistics I did not end up in his line, but I had fun imagining possible responses anyway:

a) feign an attack of nerves. "Oh, really?" Look around in a frightened way. Bug out eyes for extra effect.
b) chuckle and pat purse knowingly. "That's OK; I'm packing heat." Wink.
c) respond "Awroooooooo!" or some facsimile of wolf sound. The trouble with this option is that I might not have been able to pull it off. Some days the best I can manage is "arf!" Which could lead to trouble in that drug store if I ever have a Puffs-with-lotion emergency, which is inevitable in some cold seasons. I wouldn't want to be known as the girl who cried "arf."