I wish I'd seen this first: E. points me to this Guardian rewrite of a Churchill oration, using the language's most annoying phrases (according to these people):

I hear what you're saying but, even though we are between a rock and a hard place, and large tracts of Europe and many old and famous states have fallen or may fall into the grip of the Gestapo and all the odious apparatus of Nazi rule, we shall not flag or fail or move the goalposts. The glass is half full.

Now that's outside the box!